When life gives you lemons,

1. Roll them on smoothness to release their juice.

2. Shave off the rind — that’s where all the flavor is.

3. Squeeze. Squeeze those bitches till they ain’t nothing but pulp.

4. Toss away the seeds — they are worthless, and choke you as you down them.

5. Add sweetness. Their juice is unpalatable in its natural state.

6. Discard the remnants in compost, because you care about the environment, the future of your children.

Lumped in a biodegradable sac, you give ’em a final squeeze before hurling them into the bin, leaking.

C%nts! Why do they cry each time?