It’s a little hard to think clearly when one’s right butt is soaked in packaged coconut water. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you if it gets any easier if the butt in question were the left one, given that language is a left-brained function. And I certainly won’t get into why the dining chair continues to be soaked in Chewy’s tropical fluid dynamics experiment from 6 hours ago or why I can’t be bothered to find myself a dry pair of sweatpants to look anti-Stepford-wife-ly sexy in.
.
.
.
No, it doesn’t help that in the middle of all this, Chewy has found his way to the human pacifier (read: left boob) yet again, to help him fall back asleep. Ah, fuck it. I can’t even figure out a way to gently wean my almost two-year old, and I wanted to wax philosophical on homeschooling. It’s back to the drawing board nutella cabinet again for you, Null Pointer.

Advertisements